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Testing the Waters

Testing-the-Waters

Hello! How are you?! I trust that you’ve all been well. Judging from your posts, it appears that you are. I’m happy to see that. Me? I’m feeling surprisingly nervous about writing again. I feel like I’ve got my hand in the cookie jar and I’m about to get caught. In all honesty, this feels weird, but it’s a good weird.

Before I get into anything, let’s address the question that hangs on no one’s lips: where have I been? Well, the answer isn’t that simple. I’ve been doing a whole lot of nothing, and yet, I’ve felt too busy to post. We can delve deeper into this in future posts. I know that this is not a satisfactory answer, and for that I’m sorry, but that’s all I have.

Anyway, if all goes well, I’ll start sharing my life with you all again very soon. I promise, I won’t go more than a week between posts. 😀 In the meantime, keep being the wonderful people that you all are!

 

Until next time,

Carolina

 

Success

Success is addictive. It’s like any other drug or vice out there. Now, I know that being successful and wanting more success is normally a good thing, but like any high, too much of a good thing can be bad. Apply that to weight loss and you’ll see what I’m getting at. If it’s too easy and you’re too successful, you may believe that not doing much will afford you the same results. Success can spoil a person. I’ve had it happen to me. I’ve seen it happen to other people. What I’ve come to realize is that success that is hard earned feels a lot better than success that is handed to you. What happens when I fight hard for an accomplishment is that I fight even harder to keep it. If something is easily obtained, I don’t care if I quickly lose it because I didn’t invest much effort into getting it.

What does this have to do with anything? Well, I have noticed that I’ve been very complacent and content in not doing much. The enthusiasm I had early on is wearing away. I’m finding that I have to actually resort to my desire and drive to actually continue. It’s no longer “just happening” for me. I have to work much harder than I ever did before to achieve half as much. This didn’t happen overnight. No, this has been going on for a while now and I’ve just kept sweeping it under the rug because I honestly thought that acting like it wasn’t a thing would help me. Needless to say — it hasn’t.

Am I saying that I was too successful early on? Yeah, perhaps I was. I got comfortable. I’ll use an analogy: I was the Hare in my weight loss journey when I should have been the Tortoise. Thinking I’d figured this all out, I could rest on my laurels a little bit because I was well ahead of where I thought I’d be. Failure seemed so distant and I thought that I could “take a break.” What I didn’t understand was that failure is always chasing you. It doesn’t stop. It doesn’t rest. It doesn’t sleep or eat. Failure is always just around the corner waiting for you to slip up.

In the illustration above, that’s me with the gorged stomach. That’s precisely how I’ve been about losing weight lately. The tortoise is whatever I consider to be failure. It’s too close and I’m vulnerable. I need to wake up. I need to regroup and get my act together. I’m really pissed off at myself. I don’t hate myself, but I’m on a precipice right now. I can either give in and let myself fall or I can do what I need to do and succeed the right way. I choose the latter. Here’s what my new picture will look like when I overcome whatever the heck this is:

TortoiseAndHare

 

This time, I’ll be the Tortoise. 😉 Success is not guaranteed. It is not deserved, but rather earned. I have to remember that. Here’s to humility! 🙂

In happier news, Titan was a bust! Woot! We got no snow. I’m also almost back to 100% health. I am really happy right now. 😀 I hope you’re having a marvelous Monday!

 

Until next time,

Carolina

 

Photo Sources: Here and here.

 

Better March

It’s March! I’m so happy that February is finally over. I don’t know about you, but it felt like February lasted forever. February was not kind to me either. I got sick in the final days of the month and I’m only now starting to feel better. Thank you for all the well wishes. They meant a lot to me. I’m glad it’s all going away. It’s all in good timing too. I have a lot going on these first couple of weeks in March and then some more stuff in the final weeks. I know that I’m going to be faced with several challenges this month, but I believe that I’m capable of handling them. In fact, I look forward to them. This month we’ll finally start to see some warmer weather, well, once this Titan passes us. sigh

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Ramblings About Nothing

It’s that time of the week when I’m expected to step on my scale and share with you my progress. I’ve done that for 11 weeks now, but this week I decided not to. I’ve decided to cancel my weigh-in Wednesday posts indefinitely. This wasn’t a rash decision — I’ve thought about it long and hard.

As much as I wanted to believe otherwise, I was just not completely free from my number. I’d begun to feel pressure to produce great numbers. I don’t know how much of that pressure was real or imagined, but I figure it’s best to put a stop to it before it got to be too much. Also, I don’t think I was helping any of you by sharing numbers. It’s hard to not compare ourselves and I wouldn’t want any of you to get hurt somehow by comparing yourselves to me. I also felt like a hypocrite when I’d tell some of you that the number on the scale doesn’t matter (it didn’t) and then I’d parade my weekly weigh-in. I don’t know — it just felt wrong to me. That being said, I will be keeping track of my weight loss on a “whenever I feel like it basis” on MyFitnessPal and those measurements (whenever they’re taken) will be posted under my “Progress” tab.

I’ll repurpose my Wednesdays for reflection on the previous week or whatever interests me. I feel like you guys know a good deal about me, but not much of what I do and who I am. Perhaps I’ll use Wednesdays for that. 🙂 Let’s start right now!…

I love to read. In the summer, you’re likely to find me with my face in a book. That’s what I like to do. Reading calms me. I love to escape and reading provides that for me. I’ve always has an affinity for reading. When I was in kindergarten, my teacher suggested that I read books with a cassette tape so that I could learn English. I kept that habit until I was in second grade. Each week, I looked forward to checking out a book from the school’s library. It was always an experience for me. As a child, one of my favorite books was Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister. I read that book numerous times. Naturally, as I’ve gotten older, my tastes have matured and I’m interested in a variety of genres. I don’t have a favorite because each book provides something different for me. It’d almost be like picking a favorite song — it’s almost impossible. Currently, I have several books and I aspire to collect enough to fill up my dream library which looks something this:

But I’ll gladly settle for this:

😉

Anyway, enough of that. Have a WONDERFUL Wednesday, my loves! Day 3 of being sick is kicking my butt so I’ll be continuing my bed rest. 😦

 

Until next time,

Carolina

Sick Day

 

After a particularly busy weekend, I’ve decided to spend today in the most simple way possible — in bed. I think I’m coming down with a cold or something. Everyone around me has been sick, but I’d managed to stay bug free until now. I also decided to take diabetic medicine, you know, because DayQuil has too many carbs, sugars, calories, etc. That was a mistake. The medicine is still making me gag and now I’m worn out from squirming. This day could have gone a million times better. Anyway, I hope you all are having a better day.

 

Until next time,

Carolina

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Picture Source: Here and here.

 

 

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