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Testing the Waters

Testing-the-Waters

Hello! How are you?! I trust that you’ve all been well. Judging from your posts, it appears that you are. I’m happy to see that. Me? I’m feeling surprisingly nervous about writing again. I feel like I’ve got my hand in the cookie jar and I’m about to get caught. In all honesty, this feels weird, but it’s a good weird.

Before I get into anything, let’s address the question that hangs on no one’s lips: where have I been? Well, the answer isn’t that simple. I’ve been doing a whole lot of nothing, and yet, I’ve felt too busy to post. We can delve deeper into this in future posts. I know that this is not a satisfactory answer, and for that I’m sorry, but that’s all I have.

Anyway, if all goes well, I’ll start sharing my life with you all again very soon. I promise, I won’t go more than a week between posts. 😀 In the meantime, keep being the wonderful people that you all are!

 

Until next time,

Carolina

 

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So Fitting

These past few days I’ve been doing a lot of shopping. No, let me rephrase that — these past few days I’ve been doing a lot of gauging. I’d go into a store, pick up several jeans and sheepishly walk over to the fitting rooms. Slowly, I’d attempt to fit into them. I kept testing the waters, waiting for my bubble to burst and suddenly find myself back where I was almost 50 pounds ago. At the very least I expected this:

…but that never happened! I picked the size lower than my current one and each time I would expect them not to fit. I did this several times over the course of several hours and several stores. They kept fitting quite nicely! I was starting to feel a little giddy. 😉 Anyway, I ended up not buying anything. I didn’t want to shell out money for clothes that I plan to not fit into within a matter of months. It just felt nice to comfortably fit into the size lower and I got a great confidence boost from the whole experience. I can’t wait to return to those stores once I’m maintaining. Heck, I may go before then! 😀

Speaking of confidence, my overall confidence has been on the rise lately. I find that I’m generally more positive and self-assured now. The changes that have occurred in the last few months is startling, but I’ve taken to all of them and I welcome them with open arms. It’s fun to discover who I am “outside” of the weight — it’s almost like unwrapping a gift. Thankfully, I like this Carolina that’s coming out. 🙂

 

Until next time,

Carolina

 

January Recap

I’ve decided to do a recap because I want to be able to look back on the bigger things that happened each month. This journey of mine is going to be long and trying. Being able to easily view how far I’ve come will keep pushing me forward.

Ended the previous year and started this one with one too many drinks. I didn’t regret it then and I don’t regret it now. I thoroughly enjoyed every single drop of that glorious wine. Even with my overindulgence, I managed to lose weight that week. Woot! I said back then that my next wine day is my birthday. I’m still on track for that! In fact, I haven’t had any alcohol since the 1st! I am very proud of that.

I fully launched our Sprint to May Challenge here on my blog. Because of this challenge, I’ve “met” what I still consider to be the most amazing group of bloggers. In the month since we launched the STMC, I’ve learned many things about myself through all of you. You have inspired me and gotten me through some tough times. I’m so thankful for this because of that. I’m excited to see where the rest of this Challenge takes us.

I started getting into a funk that lasted only grew throughout the first half of the month. For some reason, a disinterest in this journey came over me. During a few of these days, I questioned whether or not I’d be able to continue. I felt a lot of pressure from myself to excel. Believe me, this quest for perfection is nothing new and it’s something I always have to deal with at some point or another. Thankfully, I was able to get through it.

I ordered a year’s subscription of Bulu Box. Bulu Box is a monthly subscription of weight loss products that come in sample sizes so that you can try products before you buy. My first box is due in about 2 weeks! When it arrives, I will test out the products and share my thoughts. I’ve been counting down the days! I can’t wait for this!

This was a particularly fun and scary post for me. I rarely share recipes that I love with other people just because I’m afraid that they won’t like them. By sharing this particular recipe with you guys, I overcame a major fear of mine. The positive response was so unexpected. In turn, the stories of success that a lot of you shared with me regarding this recipe has been one of the greatest rewards for me. Thank you to all who have made this. I appreciate it! 🙂

Things finally bubbled over for me by this day. I had been in such a funk and I had no drive, but on this day everything changed. Something lit up inside of me that said enough was enough and I was not going to give in. I was done pitying myself and feeling bad about things that I had no control over. Things changed within me and outside of me on this day. The difference has been like night and day.

I reached a couple of milestones on this day. For starters, I managed to lose over 30 pounds! On top of that, I also broke a wall that I couldn’t seem to break last year. This wall represented so much for me and I feel very fortunate to have been able to finally come through the other side. I can’t wait to break through many more.

Well, there it is. That’s my list of things for January. It was a rather trying month, but I managed to get through it in one piece. I learned to let go of my obsession with the scale. I also learned that I am a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. In the end, I’m very happy with how things played out last month and I don’t think I would change a thing about it.

Now, I have a few questions for you guys: How was your January? What did you learn about yourself last month? If you could, would you change anything? I hope you’ll share your thoughts with me. 🙂

 

Until next time,

Carolina

Super Cheat MMXIV

You may or may not have noticed, but I decided to take the weekend off from my blog to spend some with my family. I hadn’t really taken a break from this blog so I figured this was as good a weekend as any. While I was on that same train of thought, I realized that I haven’t had any cheat meals or anything. I’ve been rather good. It was also Super Bowl weekend so I thought I’d participate with my cousin and sister. I decided to have my first cheat day. Yes, I said cheat day. I know in a previous post I said not to do cheat days, but rather, cheat meals. That principle went out the window on Friday. I prepped myself all day yesterday by not eating much of anything until the game. Solid plan, right? No. I was so anxious to eat by the time of the game that I overate rather quickly.

Here’s a rare glimpse of me eating last night:

Mr Bean eating chicken

Before I knew it, I was carrying a food baby…

food baby

Yes, I stumbled and fell. I learned a very valuable lesson and this is not an experience I plan to repeat. In these two days before my weigh-in (and thereafter), I plan to eat as clean as possible. I plan to do all the right things. I will push my body to the brink, but I will not expect anything on Wednesday. If I do gain, I will accept my part, pick myself up, and I will continue. I told a friend of mine that I have a hard time accounting for the future, but I think this is a good time to change that. I have to stop living for that next weigh-in. I only seem to think about how the things I do today will effect my results on Wednesday. That’s something I need to learn to let go of. Today is a new day and I have another opportunity to better myself.

Anyway, I’ve missed you guys! From what I’ve read, you’ve all been doing exceptionally well! I know some of you had a much more successful Sunday than me. Oh, and don’t y’all worry, this weekend was not my reward for losing 30 pounds! I have something else planned for that. As the day/event draws nearer, I’ll share it with you. 😀

 

Until next time,

Carolina

Picture Source: Here, here,

Rewarding

It’s been almost two months since I’ve restarted my journey, but not once in that time have I rewarded myself for any of my accomplishments. I can’t say why I haven’t because honestly, it wasn’t intentional. I’m all for rewarding yourself when you’ve done something good, especially if that something good is health related. For someone like me, who loves food, the problem arises when I want to use food as a reward. I’ve done that countless times throughout my life. Got on the distinguished honor roll? Let’s go out to eat! It’s my birthday? Let’s go out to eat! Got on the dean’s list? Let’s go out to eat! Got a job? LET’S GO OUT TO EAT! Heck, just last year when I initially lost 50 pounds, I decided to celebrate with, you guessed it — food. It’s a difficult habit to break, but I’m working really hard to not do that this time around. Instead, I’ve decided to reward myself a little more creatively.

My 25 pound loss has come and gone, but I still decided to “celebrate” by painting my nails today. I chose a gorgeous midnight blue for the occasion. I haven’t painted my nails in a long time. Actually, it’s been almost a year. The last time I can remember painting them was in April, while I was in the beginning stages of my depression. This reward is a little more symbolic than simply weight loss. It’s another thing that I’ve regained since that dark period last year. This makes me really happy right now. My 30 pound loss milestone is coming up and a list of things to reward myself with has sprung up. I’m thinking of seeing a movie or doing something fun for it. I’m not sure yet, but I do know it won’t involve food.

In other news, I’ve been reading all of our participants’ posts and there seems to be a common theme among them. We’ve all been having difficult weeks recently for several different reasons, including, but not limited to illness, injury, emotional and/or psychological struggles. The thing I’ve found, as time has passed, is that you guys have been bouncing back! 😀 This journey is going to test us multiple times before we’re finished, but the only thing that matters is that you keep going. You guys have inspired me so much these past few weeks and I’m so proud of each and every one of you. Keep up the good work that you are all doing — it can only benefit you. Thank you for making this whole experience the best reward. 🙂

Until next time,

Carolina

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